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*2YO crouching under the sink*
"I'm the trash now."

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Why yes, there IS a world record for tallest recorded dandelion. It was found in Canada, in the wild, in 2011. Officially 5'10" — though they first claimed 6'4". Thanks for asking, here on dands.cool

post-rock via Mogwai specifically 

I am a moderate Mogwai fan, but whenever they come on, even I am like "I love this album... The Hawk is Howling... or is this one Mr. Beast... wait, maybe Happy Songs For Happy People... CODY?... uhhhh..."

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here is the article you can send to people when they say "but the environmental issues with cryptoart will be solved soon, right?"

https://medium.com/@everestpipkin/but-the-environmental-issues-with-cryptoart-1128ef72e6a3

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I think I know two (2) people with dogs named after Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam.

😇 I can be ur Bob Hope

😈 or ur Johnny Cash

👨‍💻 or, thirdly, ur Steve Jobs

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outraged & stunned as I scan a giant tub of guacamole in the grocery self-checkout: “guac is extra??”

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rebranding my child's birthday as My Dadiversary

might get really into calling people bruv

3YO has boiled me down to my crayon essence: blue pajama pants, green hoodie, brown mustache

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is hearing a song you've known by heart for decades, and mentally finishing all the lines with similar melodies from Daniel Tiger

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imagining these cascading into a swimming pool while the theme song from austin powers plays

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dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.