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*2YO crouching under the sink*
"I'm the trash now."

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Why yes, there IS a world record for tallest recorded dandelion. It was found in Canada, in the wild, in 2011. Officially 5'10" — though they first claimed 6'4". Thanks for asking, here on dands.cool

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Oscar the Grouch is just the fruiting body, the real Grouch stretches for miles underground

:bing: shadow of the colossus cool for 2yo or nah

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Idina Menzel feat. Some 19-Year-Olds Without a Drum Set

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❝Sometimes you just gotta unwind by *squints* editing the Let It Go vocals into a "metal" song you recorded with friends as a teen (?!)❞

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Sometimes you just gotta unwind by *squints* editing the Let It Go vocals into a "metal" song you recorded with friends as a teen (?!)

"What are you doing in here?"
"Getting a band-aid"
"Did you get a cut?" (expecting no)
"Yeah but there's no blood!!" (parents know what that kind of answer means)

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Environmental storytelling is little bloody fingerprints on a copy of 'The Little Engine That Could'.

more like Animal Out-of-Control Hotline !!!

yes 2YO, that classic character "George the Monkey Who Gives Hugs"

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as a new dad, I have an inaugural dad joke:

I'm really starting to worry about my kid, everyone keeps asking if he was born yesterday. first off, RUDE, but also yes.

IN THIS HOUSE WE properly put away 2019's Halloween costumes in November 2020

Jeopardy, silly 

pitching Jon Stewart to replace Alex Trebek, and rebrand as The Daily Double Show

twitter meta 

I rarely log in / use Twitter since 2018, but every time I do, I Like a few tweets, then remember that The Algorithm is going to show what I Liked to friends or even strangers, and I get creeped out and stop Liking anything. 🆒

celeb death --- 

OK, taking in recent Trebek quotes and videos and it's destroying me :(

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.