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*2YO crouching under the sink*
"I'm the trash now."

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Why yes, there IS a world record for tallest recorded dandelion. It was found in Canada, in the wild, in 2011. Officially 5'10" — though they first claimed 6'4". Thanks for asking, here on dands.cool

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Danzig (dandelionZ I Grouse about)

posing with pocket-high dandelions the way people pose with big ol fish

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Joke(?) in a dream I just had 

❌ Japanification: cultural appropriation

✅ saponification: cultural aSOAPriation

9000+ backlogged now. It'll just crash, reboot, and fix itself overnight, right?

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they're putting chemicals in the water that strengthen the frogs' tooth enamel

I don't know what I'm doing, but is 5000+ "backlogged jobs" a bad thing

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Earlier I made a remark about Twitter running slower than a $10 masto server, and now my $8 masto server hasn't loaded any new posts for 6 hours... karma? or did @jack hack me

I am glad that "HOT DOG" won this poll,

because that sound effect is every bit as glorious as I remember from my childhood...

whereas hearing that RAP MUSIC decades later... very... uh... not what I expected

🌭 🌭 🌭 🙋‍♂️ 🎶 🔊

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Knives Out sequel titles:

tired: 2 Knives Out
wired: Twives Out
inspired: Knives owT

CDC now recommends you go see Chris Rock's "Spiral: From the Book of SAW", in IMAX, tomorrow

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Touk d.c boosted

good morning, today is my 40th birthday so I am now the oldest person on the fediverse. don't worry if you forgot to get me a present, wishing me a happy birthday is just as good :wilma: if you happen to have a little spare cash right now you could make a donation to SkatePal as well :thinkergunsunglasses: https://www.skatepal.co.uk/donate

✋ electric lawnmower
👉 gas-powered vacuum cleaner

LOTR 2 spoilers 

I remembered Ents smashing the hell outta orcs. And those two hobbits finding a bunch of good food. But I forgot that happened at basically the end of this movie.

Eowyn didn't get to fight anyone :(

Egregious unnecessary use of a Wilhelm Scream. Not even worth the "Wilhelm's Deep" pun

Gollum gonna mess everything up next? nooooo

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The good news, or I guess the non-news, is that I've definitely seen that whole LOTR before! Once. I wasn't sure if I had left off halfway through. (They're split across 2 DVDs.)

Definitely never saw the 3rd, so that will be fun. Soon.

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dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.