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*2YO crouching under the sink*
"I'm the trash now."

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Why yes, there IS a world record for tallest recorded dandelion. It was found in Canada, in the wild, in 2011. Officially 5'10" — though they first claimed 6'4". Thanks for asking, here on dands.cool

damn I'm... kinda gonna miss CFL bulbs

Touk d.c boosted

a Groomba™ is a little husband who drives around and eats crumbs off your floor. It's a living

Touk d.c boosted

Oh no I heard voices purporting to be the "McElroys" and I'm starting to fear that this isn't an extended joke the whole internet is in on

Touk d.c boosted

I made a 7 and a half minute edit of “FM” by Steely Dan that features dueling sax and guitar solos. Think of it as the 12” mix that never was. I think it’s good.

dadsfm.bandcamp.com/track/fm-l

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the American Dream is to call in sick, then "accidentally" tag your boss on Instagram from the Flappy Bird kiosk at Dave & Busters

sleep + 

AND I drank water before bed. Incredible.

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sleep + 

I slept ~ 11–5:30, so I feel like a reborn god

Jeopardy 7/26 spoiler 

Just imagine 20 awful minutes of me buzzing in every question, spitting out nonsense answers. I would still say "What is", at least.

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Jeopardy 7/26 spoiler 

New record for most negative score ever!

A record I have long contemplated going for, should I have the chance...

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Jeopardy 

I have now seen the What's Guy. This on goes for days???

cc @Pixley

installing a spy cam to record @Laser reaction as I post "Knowledge walked so Hybrid Theory could run"

olympics, women's street skate 

For real, I know gymnastics etc. are teen-dominated, but 13+13+16?!? Has there been a younger medal podium? Is this a thing you can look up?

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important film ranking revised 

1. Paddington 2
2. Paddington
3. Detective Pikachu
4. Tom & Jerry
5. Space Jam 2

Have not seen: Sonic

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Touk d.c boosted

new header and avi over @fm, couldn't rip off the movie poster to FM (1978, dir. John A. Alonzo) for the rest of time

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How bout this goofy cable, "S-Video|3.5mm Stereo to Composite RCA", keeper?!

cc @shane @alex et al

olympics, dumb 

I may not QUALIFY for the Olympics, but what if I QUANTIFY? Like, I just ask them a ton of times? Heyooooooooooo

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actually, the full title is "Space Jam: Episode IV: A New Legacy" 💫

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.

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