Relaxing Music for Babies (cymbal crashes and barnyard animals)

A big part of parenthood is figuring out you are in Mess World. You live in Mess World. You can clean but you can never escape.

baby toys are like 'encourages learning!' (yells "triangle" at your kid while lights flash)

been doing like a funny thick brooklyn accent around the house, wonder if that's good for baby

we're at the 'screaming for fun' stage of baby development

baby has this talking cube that says "everybody loves the cube!"

this baby would rather eat the book than have it read to them. sad.

had no idea being a parent involved so much singing

the Octonauts seem to spend most their time preventing predators from eating.. "ah another day making sure these whales starve.. Kwazii, activate creature report!"

┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
leave the baby monitor on at
full volume so every little sound
is broadcast with a 2 second
delay into the living room
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

being a parent is like a controlled disintegration

baby is sleeping 4-6 hour chunks at a time now so wild to get some fucking sleep at night

Welcome to your first day on the job writing articles about babies on the internet. No, no need for credentials, just write whatever pops into your head.

Show more is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.