Ryan, the Dad Who Loves Coffee @ryan@dads.cool

Introductions!

Ryan, 35, new dad of one ("E", born May 2019). Here for dadposting, dadvice, dadjokes, etc.

new belgium summer bliss hitting all the wrong notes in the wrong order

[first sip after cracking open a cold new brew ready to grill out in the sun] that’s terrible!

daycares and preschools just put your tuition on your website challenge

you are not “all done” you’re barely managing to clutch two giant fistfuls of food that you want to walk around the house eating & dropping everywhere

currently trying to break the toddler of trying to rules-lawyer their way into “if I’ve picked up all the food off my plate I’m ‘all done’ and therefore can get up from the table”

yes everything else is the same except for the goals and balls being little tikes ones

pitch: olympic little tikes basketball

YouTube has helpfully auto-captioned the lyrics for this entire kids’ song video simply as “[Music]”

toddler, completely unprompted and with zero context, just crossed their arms in a “cool kid” pose and said the word “skateboard” for the first time?

Toddler, pointing at the engine compartment of a toy truck: butt?
Me: no, it’s a truck, it doesn’t have a butt
Toddler: hmmm…I dunno……

(ok it was actually showtime mode from Paradise Remastered because that’s what I had immediate access to)

help i played burnout crash mode in front of my toddler to amuse them and now all they want to do is throw their toy cars all over the place

toddler has inherited my absolute distaste for anything getting in their eye

heads-up for all my mechanical keyboard mac crew https://unclack.app

today's forced Zoom update adds "Non-verbal feedback enhancement: Coffee cup"

Oops! All BANGERS