Ryan, 35, new dad of one ("E", born May 2019). Here for dadposting, dadvice, dadjokes, etc.
new belgium summer bliss hitting all the wrong notes in the wrong order
[first sip after cracking open a cold new brew ready to grill out in the sun] that’s terrible!
@ryan how much does it cost to go here?
you know ;) ;)
ok, can you at least tell me how much it cost last year?
sure, it’s on page 80 of this pdf ;) ;) but it goes up every year xoxo
ok, can you tell me how much it was the year before so I can infer roughly
daycares and preschools just put your tuition on your website challenge
you are not “all done” you’re barely managing to clutch two giant fistfuls of food that you want to walk around the house eating & dropping everywhere
currently trying to break the toddler of trying to rules-lawyer their way into “if I’ve picked up all the food off my plate I’m ‘all done’ and therefore can get up from the table”
yes everything else is the same except for the goals and balls being little tikes ones
pitch: olympic little tikes basketball
YouTube has helpfully auto-captioned the lyrics for this entire kids’ song video simply as “[Music]”
toddler, completely unprompted and with zero context, just crossed their arms in a “cool kid” pose and said the word “skateboard” for the first time?
Toddler, pointing at the engine compartment of a toy truck: butt?
Me: no, it’s a truck, it doesn’t have a butt
Toddler: hmmm…I dunno……
Holy shit, an actual Chock Full 'O Nuts! It's like finding a Coelacanth
(ok it was actually showtime mode from Paradise Remastered because that’s what I had immediate access to)
help i played burnout crash mode in front of my toddler to amuse them and now all they want to do is throw their toy cars all over the place
toddler has inherited my absolute distaste for anything getting in their eye
@ryan coffee is indeed an non-verbal feedback enhancement
today's forced Zoom update adds "Non-verbal feedback enhancement: Coffee cup"
@baturkey you ever mowed with the devil in the pale moonlight?
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