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"I know that you're having trouble communicating. I understand that you get very frustrated that I can't get you what you want from me, because I don't understand what you want. If you can use some words, or use some signs, to tell me what you need, I think the end result will be a lot less frustrating.

Wait a sec, am I talking to my toddler or my boss?

eye-rolling about work, food (on account of being about work) 

eye-rolling about work, food (on account of being about work) 

Replacing Myers-Briggs with a four-letter abbreviation of Sun sign, Pottermore house, Pokemon type, and results of a Which Homestuck Troll Are You quiz

Rewriting Myers-Briggs using animal motifs, marketing it equally to hiring managers as an archetype measurement and to curious furries who haven't settled on a fursona yet

Would that make Milo Yannowossname a fursona non grata

Wow! Amazing what a single day at work can do to a guy

Getting on the bike for the first time in years AND piano practice, killin' it today

Now to be a useless shit like usual for the rest of the week

Got on my bicycle for the first time in... hell, years probably. I've been hauling that thing around with the general intention of using it to commute, keeping it tuned and oiled and out of the rain in hopes of one day having the spoons to get back on and ride it.

I blew out one of the tire tubes halfway across the apartment parking lot because hey, old tubes aren't really that sturdy, but dammit. I got on and rode it.

It might not count for much, but I feel like it counts for something.

Sorry guys I just got back in what's this about Corn Pop and creamed corn why is there so much maize on the timed line

lewd-adjacent 

Overheard in the office: a discussion on the importance of proper word choice and spelling segues directly into the habit of using that little mark under the ESC key instead of apostrophes.

I didn`t bother to chime in on how prescriptivism in punctuation isn`t all that different from prescriptivism in spelling.

nosimpleprotege, through countless recitals of "Wheels on the Bus", knows what sound a car horn makes. She can mime patting a steering wheel and say "bee bee bee".

She has also learned the word for other people who are very small, like her. She will point to them and announce "beebee, beebee".

And when meeting an infant, she will gently pat them and say "bee bee, bee bee". It's the car-horn gesture on a small person.

I think she's made her first pun. I'm so proud.

"per my previous email" is considered obnoxious and passive-aggressive and I intend to continue using it until people actually read my damn emails

but it could be worse

I've resisted using "I could have spent the last 20 minutes actually fixing the problem instead of writing this report detailing it that you asked for" despite being invited to use it a couple of times this week.

Driving home from getting a flu shot for the year and baby has the hiccups, the shot has terrible side effects say NO to vaccines!!!!

Sorta-kinda want to start a West Marches style campaign for the myriad "man D&D sounds awesome wanna try it sometime" tooter I see on the ol' Federated

More specifically want to not ever do play-by-post again

A popular children's book series, summarized 

This academic text uses "pigeon English" to refer to a colloquialism, despite the word not sounding like a cooing bird at all.

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads.