the problem with christianity is that jesus didn't prophesize loot crates which makes me think he was full of shit

@slipperywerm
Canonically he did see every sin mankind would ever commit in Gethsemane. He just didn't talk about it.

Or maybe he did and the gospel where that got written down is considered apocrypha and hasn't survived, idk

@slipperywerm
Martin Luther's 96th thesis was a condemnation of the selling of loot crates

@nosimpleway @slipperywerm Perhaps loot crates are captured in one of the many parables?

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@kelbesque
@slipperywerm
"The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus desired better equipment. Seeing in the distance a loot-box, he went to find if it had any loot. When he reached it, he found nothing but vendor trash, for gachapon is some bullshit. He said to the crate, 'May no one ever loot you again.'
Gospel of Mark, 11:12-14

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