If it's true that "you are what you eat" then Spiders Georg is the most terrifying being in the universe

I showed nosimpleprotege a picture of a coconut palm. She looked at the fruits hanging from the treetop and said, "Eggs!"

Confusing eggs for coconuts? She'll make a great Pokemon trainer one day.

mh?, executive dysfunction 

This morning I was so exhausted I could barely stand up. Like, legit spending several seconds trying to muster the energy to get on my feet while my daughter is pulling on my arm asking to go somewhere else.

This afternoon I cleaned out her closet and rearranged her room, bringing several large playsets from downstairs and setting them up where she could use them.

...did I just have a manic episode? Is that what that is?

coping with grief, the neverending nightmare that is 2020 

"Oh my god, tomorrow's going to be Friday the 13th! In 2020!"
me: not gonna be worse than today
"How do you know?"
me, maintaining eye contact, asserting dominance: today would have been her birthday.

adopting the phrase "Flavor Blasted ™️" with the same intonation and energy as "godforsaken"

covid, parenting struggles 

A kiddo in nosimpleprotege's preschool has confirmed positive for COVID, so we're quarantined.

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings
Do not talk to me, ye mighty,
until I have had my coffee."
Nothing beside remains.

Oh yes, I went to Harvard.

Harvard Total Landscaping.


He can't condemn white supremacy, then he has to wait for vote counts out of Atlanta, Philadelphia, and Detroit. Every little detail of his loss is delicious. Turns out Black Votes Matter, too.

Listening to a lecture recorded by a person who had their email client open and their phone notifications unmuted, and the prerecorded notification noises are driving me CRAZY

Panzer Dragoon? I hardly know 'er dragoon!

Kinda envious of Humpty Dumpty right now. The past few months have been difficult for all of us, but that guy's had a GREAT fall.

Just got an email from my bank for a promo they're doing. Apparently I can win gift cards or something whenever I use my debit card ending in [four digits that are not the last four digits of my debit card]

News notification offers me the chance to "watch election results in real time" my dude I cannot tell you how much I do not want to do that

coping with grief, emotional gut-punch 

In retrospect, it makes sense that it would happen while I was away. My roommate was keeping an eye on nosimpleprotege while I went grocery shopping. "Papa went to-ah store," she reminded herself. "Grown-ups come back," she added.

And turned to my roommate. "Mama, where?"

Oh hey, my driver's license. I've been driving around for two weeks with the expired one in my wallet waiting for this to show up, and it's been here for over a month.

In a pile of mail set aside while I dealt with all the, ahem, other things I had to deal with in September.

One less thing to worry about is always nice.


me: It's been a tough couple of months, but I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe I'm through the worst of it
my seasonal depression: man sunset just keeps hitting earlier and earlier now doesn't it
me: please do not

"Man, those are some messed up dreams, I wonder why t--"

"Oh. Right."

parenting, coping with grief, bittersweet triumphs 

nosimpleprotege was eating dinner and told me, "Go-a potty."

So we got up and went to potty. She peed at home for the first time! The ability to feel that she needed to go and tell someone in tine was the part we needed to work on, and tonight she got it!

The "your mom would be so proud of you" moments are the hardest.

coping with grief, extreme mh-, eye thing 

"God, this bit of grit has been in my eye for over half an hour, would it get out already I have shit to do"

"Oh right, my wife is dead, my daughter doesn't understand and won't for years to come, to the point that she expects her mom to walk through the door any minute now, there's no way I can parent her by myself, and the people who swore they'd help with anything no matter what are leaving me on read."

"Okay, that handles my eye, back to work."

Show more

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.