nosimpleprotege was injured in a catastrophic peekaboo accident

she had to go to the ICU

Don't email my wife until she's had her coffee

When nosimpleprotege started talking it was a wonderful, delightful development.

And it was nothing compared to when she started singing.

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
It's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside

This year I'm ready to take home the gold in the traditional Father's Day contest of "Who can sneeze the loudest"

The Nissan Rogue is a decent midsized SUV, but you need to keep an eye out to make sure your alignment doesn't slip.

lewd, really bad implications if you think about it, inflicts minor psychic damage

The quarantine-rush delivery box of toilet paper was left on the landing of the stairwell so that anyone who needed a roll could grab it from a central location.

nosimpleprotege found that these delightful little objects, wrapped in brightly colored patterned paper, were a lot of fun to throw down the stairs.

I didn't stop her, but did teach her that if she's rolling cylindrical objects down the stairs, she should pause once in a while to thump her chest like a gorilla.

Kiddo had climbed to the top of her slide and was fiddling with levers and knobs on the wall. "I don't want to be -a dad- about this, but don't touch the thermostat."

Had a dream that I was in a restaurant and ordered a chicken sandwich called "the Pathos".

I never got my food.

I'm making metanarrative jokes on a subconscious level now.

When nosimpleprotege handed me the can of Play-Doh and asked "dough, open!" I replied, in the way of the parent trying to gently guide a toddler into correct speech patterns, "Open the dough!"

Then, quietly to myself, "Get on the flo"

And with the inevitability of the tides, "Everybody walk the dinahso"

Sometimes being a dad means laughing yourself nearly hoarse over your own dumb joke.

Knuckle tats:
Right hand: AMPUT
Left hand: ATI N

Taking nosimpleprotege to a little park was fun, until the sprinklers came on, at which point it became BEST DAY EVER

pondering the obesity epidemic while watching nosimpleprotege dip strips of Colby-Jack cheese into ranch dressing

Having to consider which pluralization is inherently funnier: Is it "Sans Undertales", or "Sanses Undertale"?

Grandma got us a new toy piano with four keys. I'm pretty sure the tones are C, E, G, and B. I can't fathom who would finish a scale on the subdominant and it drives me CRAZY

Not sure what nosimpleprotege was actually saying at breakfast, but it sure sounded like "shh, cops. shh, cops."

Good to know I'm not raising a narc.

Fun activity of the day: deliberately smacking our head on the table, then running over for a comforting hug when it hurts.

As I understand parenting, there's just a few more decades of watching her make self-destructive choices.

In quarantine there's the temptation to be lazy and not bathe or brush teeth or comb hair etc. etc. every day. But it's hard to ignore self-care around a toddler who wants to practice those sorts of activities, and thinks of all of them as a group effort.

"Papa brash teef too!"

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.