Hit the kiddo with her first "Hi hungry, I'm dad" the other night and it feels like a milestone has been passed.

"Oddly this is not the first time I have had to put a band-aid on a coworker because she's afraid she'd faint if she saw herself bleeding. Life is strange."

"Huh, the server update removed my user icon."

[checks the Local]
"...huh, the server update removed everybody's user icon."

[checks the Federated]
"Oh, Tusky needs to refresh actually-literally-everyone's user icons, this isn't just a d.c thing."

Since the stuff never comes out isn't it more accurately a magma lamp

I hope this email finds you at the end of your rope. I hope this email finds you stressed beyond belief, and utterly burned out. I hope this email is the last straw for you.

Dark humor around pretend play 

Kiddo pretended to be a police officer, "arrested" me, clamped my hands together with "handcuffs", threw me in "jail" and slammed the door, then picked up a toy gun and "pew pew pew pew"ed me.

Uh oh, it's a couple weeks of paid administrative leave pending investigation for her, now!

You see, this is because in Latin the suffix -tor denotes males and -trix denotes females. Male gladiator, female gladiatrix. Male aviator, female aviatrix.

This is in contrast to modern English, where -tor is for everyone but Trix are for kids.

Show thread

[reads up on Latin grammar]
The Mator, finally a Matrix but for the guys

Show thread

The Patrix, finally a Matrix but for the guys

7 out of 10 lizards agree, endotherm stinky

Cut my jeans into pieces

This is my ass in jorts

Met the woman of my dreams last night.

Halfway through I realized she was the woman of my dreams and woke up.

"You don't exist outside of my head" is a shot you don't take unless you're 100% certain but I was right

White card: "Mastodon is crumbling and many blame _____"

Black cards:
> stinky endotherm
> gorilla pellets
> bripe
> arch linux
> Thanos hog

That none of these answers are even a little bit funny is accurate to 99% of the CAH games I've played, that's part of the joke

White card: "I'm a cis white male. I'm living life on _____ mode!"

Black cards:
> turban sage
> chips in the fridge
> Bryce Youngquist
> 30-50 feral hogs
> Edouard Siddon

"Nearly 40 and no ring on that finger? Boyyy, you better consider what all your failed relationships had in common." This near-stranger then pointed a gnarled finger at my center-of-mass.

I paused a moment in mock reflection, and thoughtfully tapped on my sternum where they'd pointed. "This cursed amulet I stole from a mummy's tomb. Not sure why I still wear this, honestly."

reliving the same 24-hour period of my life until I finally learn to stop putting dick picks on the tl 

Posthog Day

Highlight of the day: kiddo misheard "check engine light" as "chicken light", found this too hilarious for me to correct

Everything else about today: the check engine light being on is a factor in the best part, so you can imagine

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dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.

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