⸘John‽ boosted

so. you’re telling me the actual world health organization framed roger rabbit

Kids' play equipment? Or doggie lookout tower?

Yes.

⸘John‽ boosted

I have a new coworker whose name is Kale and who apparently signs messages with the 🥬 emoji, how should I feel about this

Oh, my mistake. The hourly forecast predicts it will drop down into the low 80s 2 hours prior to sunset... while it's raining.

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The yard needs trimming (weed-eating). And it's nice and bright so I can clearly see all the details. And I kind of want to just do it.

But last time I did trimming it was 88°F and I got all whiny about the discomfort. And it's 90°F now. I feel bad about being so silly and spoiled with my nice AC. And I'm a little worried about when it would get done, because if the sun is bright enough to seen the grass well it's going to be at least 85°F.

I joined her just for QT with my daughter, but it is actually kinda fun.

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Today I learned my youngest has a sunset- watching ritual.

ruining an already cryptically bad joke 

Yeah I know it's not worded great, but I'm not great at humor and don't know how to better workshop a joke about how the industry term for what I know as "push mower" is "reel mower" and stores refer to mowers with electric motors and even internal combustion engines that do the mowing as "push mower" if you happen to use a push to indicate which grass you'd like it to mow for you.

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⸘John‽ boosted

uspol stereotypes? #baddad 

This is gross. Yeah, yeah, I get that it's a joke. But put yourself in your daughter's shoes. What message is she going to take away from you joking about not respecting her as a person?

⸘John‽ boosted
⸘John‽ boosted

Actually Pepper was the doctor, you're thinking of Pepper's Soda.

The fam is having a lot of fun around my unemployed status today. Telling me to get a job, referring to me as "between jobs" to friends and family (which, to be fair, is extremely accurate).

For context: my last day at my previous job was yesterday and my first day at the new job is Monday.

Fun fact:
When my elder daughter starts a sentence with "Fun Fact" it's often not a fact and almost never fun.

"There's a bench underneath and leaves and nature on top." - My daughter, who is very much old enough to know the word "gazebo" after having lived immediately next to one for 6 years (more than half her life)

⸘John‽ boosted

My wife put candy in 150 plastic eggs, and we hid them. Now, remember, we only have two children. One might think this would lead to a less competitive, cut-throat egg hunt.

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.

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