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a good trick if you can’t decide between two things: flip a coin. if you’re disappointed by the result, go with the other thing

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everyone stop and look at this incredibly good turtle I met in the woods today

Zero of the people in Musk's phone are competent enough to work a shift at Starbucks

the problem with marrying an extroverted jock is they think spending Friday night at the high school football game sounds fun


is the proliferation of incest/step-mom/step-sibling porn a result of a narrowing field of sexual taboos?

surely there aren’t that many people that *actually* want to fuck their step-mom, but are instead aroused by be forbidden nature of the act

every couple of years pop culture knocks on your door like "we have updated the musical duo where a pretty lady with bangs sings and dude stands to the side tapping on a drum machine."

Hello, I wrote about a movie called THE SINNERS that has Satanism, Catholic schools, roses, and boning in the Lord's library, please read it thanks!!! #DTMWaGL

I picked up a book on fiction writing from the library that was published in 2003. twice in the opening dozen pages JK Rowling is mentioned. it really is wild to think she could have been part of the canon if she’d just stayed off the internet and kept her mouth shut

you're going to jail buddy. nobody messes with the occupational safety and health administration

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We all know skeletons can't shit, but what this tile presupposes is... what if they can?

day crew? night crew? what about;;;;; wife crew

the camera they use for license pictures is mounted for average height folks, so my new license picture looks like a boomer selfie

shout out to my coworker who reminded me of the 1999 song Maria Maria by Santana featuring The Product G&B, a thing I haven’t thought of since it’s ubiquitous radio run

ma’am, I am thirty or forty years old. this is as tall as I’m gonna get

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got my drivers license renewed today. they ask if your weight is the same, which makes sense, but also ask if your height is the same. excuse me, Mr DMV, do you find you have to update that info often?

Y’all will NOT believe what I just found jammed between the base of the bathroom cabinet and the bathroom wall

Show older is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.