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i'm so grateful you're allowed to be a dad even if you did a lot of dumb stuff before

the trolls world tour soundtrack has taken over my house like a cordyceps. i dunno where it's leading us yet

My dad's winter quarantine style is: a nice, flattering cableknit wool sweater, baggy gray sweatpants, and house slippers.

the kids wanted to build Pokemon so we made a dang articulated torterra from memory

it's ten goddamn o clock and my four year old is literally jumping up and down and screaming, occasionally changing it up by opening the kids' bedroom door, screaming, and slamming it


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greetings from the most Go The Fuck To Sleep night we've ever had in this house

Laurie Berkner Band - We Are the Dinosaurs (Dance Remix) sounds like a dad-flavored shitpost but it's a real track that was made and released

we just got a new heat pump and i was hoping to get another year or several out of the old furnace, but instead it crapped out a month ago and the costly joke is on me

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i am tired and would like to be left alone. My children disagree on both counts. The classic dilemma...

ph / running / stress 

really wish i hadn't lost so much fitness these last nine months. In Jan/Feb I was running for 120 or 150 minutes a week, but now im rebuilding from ~40 minutes. And with the continuing pressure of everyone being home all the time id love to be able to just fuck off and run for an hour on a Friday. Ten minutes isn't enough!

@i_noah_guy 1–4) Varies every day
5) Eat what you made for the children

1) Enter the kitchen to make oneself a snack
2) Children find you in the kitchen and demand food
3) Make food for the children
4) They have already forgotten they wanted food
5) Eat what you made for the children

bedtime is a ruinous battle every night lately and all else aside, it really kills any good mood i have going into my evening me-time. Y'all im so goddamn tired.

Kid-friendly “charades” after family dinner was an absurdist spectacle, capped off by a stumper from M - which he finally told us was “Quadralisk! It’s a creature I made up!”

Beware the quadralisk folks

now that I think about it I might also vaguely remember some science-y thing? But the Christmas and fat Albert memories are indelible

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Family movie night was the Rankin-Bass Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. All that's left to recreate the old film strips from my elementary school auditorium is some Fat Albert cartoons

I don't ever regret having kids but I am sometimes floored by the sheer optimism of the thing

It's going to be real hard getting through a whole ass winter with so many of our indoor activity options ruled out by covid. It's not even technically winter yet and theyre bouncing off the walls in here

Show more is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.