Oh, Father. @i_noah_guy@dads.cool

i'm so grateful you're allowed to be a dad even if you did a lot of dumb stuff before

Dad! the Musical, featuring the award-winning songs, "What is This Shit on the Floor!?", "Daddy's Coffee Time", and of course the smash crossover hit, "I Am A Person Too"

LBTCU (Land Before Time Cinematic Universe)

bonus question / side bet: will #1 and #2 be separate or simultaneous?

how many times do you think i can say “sorry for party rocking” instead of “excuse me” after i burp before my wife 1) notices and 2) gets upset

i walked up to my wife, gave her a lil smooch on the forehead, and told her, “babe, you’re doing a great job. i love you and i appreciate you. you work hard, and you deserve recognition for it. And that’s why i’m giving you [reaching into my back pocket for the item] this Seal of Approval.”

life, but it speeds up every time you change a diaper

incredible milestone in my house as the kids have made their first “no grownups allowed” sign and taped it on the door to their room. Appears they're now making more signs about who’s allowed where 😅

dads can have little a whatever snack the kids didn’t finish and left on the table, as a treat

"is our house motto, 'don't be weird and gross?'"

"seems... ambitious"

never been more ready for someone else to be responsible for my kids for a few hours at least. i need to recharge my patience batteries real bad

"good" "morning" from the house where kids woke up at ~3:30 and are already tired and grumpy

this week’s family movie night is Cars, which i was distressed to notice is nearly almost old enough to get a learner’s permit itself (released 2006)

i got masks for the kiddos today. happysad about it, i guess

What happened with the $5500 coffee grinder though??

*corey glover voice* toxic masculinityyy

before this mornings preschool call J put on his wolf costume/onesie. when we got on i told him to say hi and he just calmly proclaimed, “I have two faces”

so y’know, already having a real normal one over here

what’s the French word for dishwasher?

because i have l’esprit de l’that