I will always be entertained by a British person saying "lasso"

William of Normandy invaded England in 1066 so that he'd be known as William the Conqueror instead of William the Bastard

Moderately dramatic injury 

Kid was running around and tripped onto the metal staircase of the playground equipment. The force caused him to bite THROUGH his lower lip so he needed stitches

Jeff Hell boosted

DIY Antlers 

A cheap and easy craft for today— a headband with antlers on it

Supplies needed, in addition to tools and brushes:

• A metal cat-ear headband (I got mine from Dollar Tree)
• Air-dry or oven-cure clay (I'm using the oven-cure polymer clay Sculpey III)
• Acrylic paint in white/ivory and brown

Now, to choose a style:

Jeff Hell boosted

He was a gamer squid
She said "see you, lamer squid"

@Aleums Ramones songs are all power chords, but their lyrics are bad

Jeff Hell boosted

Taskmaster S12E01 

@Louisa Desiree did The Myth of Narcissus!!

Jeff Hell boosted

Girl are you a peat bog because you're acerbic and slowly decaying

@Pixley calling it a slide deck is such a Ross Geller thing to do

Jeff Hell boosted

Gang, Trader Joe is selling both hot dogs and hot dog buns in packs of six, get over there before they realize their mistake

Jeff Hell boosted

things I know about baseball:
- there are many birds
- new york has five teams
- hotdogs get your hotdogs

People who care too much about winning Taskmaster should not be on Taskmaster

Jeff Hell boosted

going to live in a chicken coop cuz I'm feeling broody

Jeff Hell boosted

Here is a newsletter, on a movie called INTO THE ARMS OF DANGER, YES it is about another young woman being held captive, but bear with me, it's got some things in it #DTMWaGL

@neoncoughh the band that I always think is someone not remembering the name of Miami Sound Machine

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dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.

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