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Feelin like the white dr Manhattan (he’s blue)

the number of real hitmen-for-hire available to anyone who is not a multimillionaire is about the same number as real women who used ashley madison

due to a sort of "reverse Spinal Tap" situation, I now have a 120-foot tall Home Depot lawn skeleton

got an email that my electricity cost will go up 64% soon. awesome!

one of the coolest record labels and record shops out there is Aloha Got Soul out of Honolulu. they have a loyalty club on Bandcamp that gives you digital access to every release they put out, plus access to exclusive vinyl runs, for a rock-bottom $5 a month. i am a subscriber and i will never visit the store.

pay hawaiians, order stuff from hawaiians, do not go to hawaii

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anyway for real do not visit hawaii, hawaiians do not want you there

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i see guitar center and southwest airlines are joining in solidarity with the HAOLE GO HOME movement by making the idea of visiting hawaii intolerable

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lewd and unnecessary 

appointing a special master to my cock and balls

Show older is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.