I put together this chart to show how the addition of the Local-Only toggle on instances running or affects post privacy. It's not the simplest thing in the world, but for small communities, I think local-only posting is indispensable.

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there's a bug with local-only posting right now where pinning a post ignores local-only status; that should be resolved in a future release.

The behavior of local-only statuses from your instance appearing on the federated TL when you're logged in seems to be different depending on your instance (honestly I never use the federated TL so it doesn't come up much for me)

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dads.cool

dads.cool is a Mastodon instance for dads, running the Hometown fork of Mastodon.